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Sorry for Asking if the Gig Pays or Not, It’s Just That I’m Not Fucking 12

First off, let me profusely apologize for asking if this gig pays. I had no idea how much it would possibly offend you, the promoter, to ask for logistical details about the event you booked me on. You’re right, after all, I was being “rude” and “greedy” when I inquired about the possibility of at least getting reimbursed for the gas it would take me to get to the show. Thank God I didn’t ask about parking validation. But in my defense, I’m not fucking 12 and have financial responsibilities to consider. But for real, I’m sorry. So terribly sorry.

It’s so easy to criticize somebody for wanting to monetize their time. I don’t even want to live some unrealistic rockstar dream. I just want to break even from ducking out of my day job early to make the ridiculous 2:00 pm load-in even though the doors aren’t open until 8. But you did make some good points about not booking me again for being an “upstart” so, once again, I’m sorry.

Yeah, I have a day job. I know, I’m such a sellout. Plus, my wife works the night shift so I had to hire a sitter just to play this gig. On average, gigging out on a Wednesday night costs me about $100 and I simply want to recoup that expense because I’m not exactly J.P. Moneybags over here. Especially whenever I’m closing my tab and you hit me with a “make sure to tip the bar extra since you were on the show.”

I love music more than anything. If it means I can keep playing shows, I’ll join a Limp Bizkit cover band painted up like a spider monkey. But I’ll be honest I don’t think I can keep doing your shows. So, once again, I’m sorry.