I went to the event this weekend. There were street artists, rides, food that was out of this world, and holy shit so much violence. I was trying to get one of those crazy bejeweled corn dogs that I kept hearing about all year when shit got crazy. There were gunshots and lots of screaming. Amidst the chaos, I found a gun lying in the street and while I’ve never actually fired one in my life, I started to feel that whole “good guy with a gun” thing that I always hear weird boomers talking about. Now all I had to do was find a bad guy!
There he was, discharging his weapon into a crowd of innocent civilians. That’s when I aimed, inhaled, and shot the sheriff. Unfortunately, he had already killed like 23 people. Shit.
That said, I did not shoot the deputy. The sheriff had actually already shot him. I guess they had a little kerfuffle earlier in the afternoon. But that wasn’t before he took out like 23 other people, kicked a dog, pushed over an old man, tipped over the corn dog cart (bummer, I was really looking forward to that), and told his entire precinct not to respond to any sort altercation in which public safety might be an issue on a large scale.
Afterward, I got on the ferris wheel to survey all the damage that was done and that’s when I realized I didn’t deliver a kill shot. The sheriff was only slightly wounded and he was beating the shit out of somebody trying to give away balloon animals to underprivileged children for not having a permit. Classic sheriff.
