Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

October 13, 2019

CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski earned a tidy sum of $523 last week after nearly two dozen tourists…

October 10, 2019

CINCINNATI — Self-described anarcho-punk and Wells Fargo bank teller Gary Morin claimed again today that he only took his job…

October 9, 2019

Recently, the elitist SJWs of The Hard Times took a moment out of our busy lives of canceling posers to…

October 7, 2019

WILMINGTON, Del. — An alarming new study out of the University of Delaware finds that the average millennial punk has…

October 5, 2019

HENDERSON, Nev. — Model train enthusiast and man possibly on the brink of madness Jonathan Mackay is reportedly “sick and…

October 5, 2019

Is this the real life Billie Joe Armstrong? Recently, the punk rock and alternative music experts of The Hard Times…

October 4, 2019

OKLAHOMA CITY — Indie noise band Gifthorse is knee-deep in a heated, one-sided rivalry this week with the generally “nice…

September 22, 2019

DUNWOODY, Ga. — Recently dumped dirtbag Jimmy Crocetta is allegedly hoping his ex-girlfriend Christina Jindra will want to still remain…

September 22, 2019

NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — A man wearing a faded, several-years-old novelty Labatt Blue hockey jersey at an all-ages show last…

September 20, 2019

GREENVILLE, Vt. — Lifelong Greenville resident Jordan Mateusz struggled to recall yesterday which of the many tragedies that befell his…