WASHINGTON — Military drone pilot 1st Lt. Juan Herrera was ordered by White House Chief of Staff John Kelly to give President Trump a Wiimote…
FIFTH CIRCLE OF HELL — Every ’90s kid remembers the classic commercial for the board game Crossfire: Two leather-clad children ride over-sized game pieces into…
Just two years ago, I was stuck in a 40 hour-a-week, 100K-a-year job with amazing health benefits. Sure, it was really satisfying and my…
FARMINGDALE, N.Y. — Bob Dylan fan Eric Donnelly panicked after a classic rock station played three Dylan songs in a row, leading him to assume…
CENTERVILLE, Ohio — Spaceboy Records clerk and “total poser” Matthew Wright was shamefully only able to name 22 of 25 studio albums by indie-rock band…
I’m a pretty normal guy, I’ve got a job, I’ve got hobbies. I like to go to the movies and the park. I usually keep…
ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the infamous landfill containing cartridges of…
BEAUFORT, S.C.— Shantal Addams was shocked to find that several characters she created in the video game The Sims had developed an interest in the…
OTTAWA, Ontario — The Canadian Parliament passed a law yesterday requiring all citizens over the age of 18 to spend two years serving as a…
HADDONFIELD, N.J. — 13-year-old “badass” Aiden Christian spent Saturday afternoon skateboarding with friends and spray-painting the anarchy symbol on the Queen Highway Overpass before rushing…
NEW YORK — The legendary art-rock band the Velvet Underground eagerly anticipate the band’s upcoming discovery by thousands of college freshmen this fall semester and subsequent…
AUBURN HILLS, Mich. — Phish manager Coran Capshaw desperately pleaded with enthusiastic Phish fans last night to stop tapping on the glass tour bus windows…
I’m a very open-minded person. As such, my tastes and preferences are pretty wide-ranging. On any given day I could find myself enjoying pop-punk, EDM,…
WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests he completed before their epic…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pet owner Dylan Murphy could not find a suitable adoptive home for his beloved pet cockatoo last week, despite incessantly screaming “FREE…