Prom season is here and you know what that means: A-list pop stars like Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Rihanna will momentarily cast their life-affirming…
Have you guys heard of this ACLU? Because apparently they’re like OBSESSED with me! I signed up for their e-newsletter over a year ago and…
LOS ANGELES — Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne has severely weakened his immune system due to too much time spent inside his iconic plastic…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — The guitarist and songwriter of a popular metal band was accused yesterday of using excessive umlauts in his tacit admission to…
ATLANTA -— Stubborn, delusional punk Drew Blaney, who has lost a third of his mohawk due to his receding hairline, will not fix his increasingly…
Believe it or not, I used to be really pathetic. I used to be the guy who was routinely borrowing money from his parents, friends,…
Punk’s not dead, right? Spoiler alert, dipshit! According to this fan theory, punk has been dead for decades. Not only that, but evidence suggests that…
Say goodbye to your childhoods, kiddos! In light of the recent news that Toys R Us stores across the country will be shutting their doors…
Meet Walter Flannery. 64-year-old file clerk, two-time divorcee, grandfather of two beautiful pomeranians, and podcasting entrepreneur. Walter is one of 43 million Americans with a…
Brothers, As The Sect’s first ever reporter, and its only member with permission to leave our community, I serve as the conduit through which all…
Oh, OK. So apparently I’m the only one here who truly cares about the success of this band. Because from my point of view, all…
The Kinks. Need I say more? Fronted by the original brawling British brothers, Ray and Dave Davies (sorry, Liam and Joel Gallagher!), The Kinks released…
AUSTIN — Drummer Terry Santoro has prepared several ideas for mobile apps to pitch to Silicon Valley insiders attending the 2018 South by Southwest music…
ROCKVILLE CENTRE, N.Y. -— Touring Minneapolis band FLATPOINT spent much of their set last night informing their Long Island audience that the 30°F weather was,…
CHICAGO — Impish, iconoclastic musician Björk utterly vanished in plain sight last night after allegedly being tricked into uttering “kröjb” aloud during her concert, several…