Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

November 1, 2019

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The deeply personal and profound meaning behind local man Trent Williams’ “actually not stupid or impulsive”…

October 31, 2019

BELLE ISLE, Fla. — Local goth Jess “Alexandria Ravenwood” Reynolds is heartbroken that her recently deceased aunt did not include…

October 26, 2019

PLANO, Texas — Battle of the Bands judge Bradley Chase allowed a desperate four-piece rock band to compete last night…

October 25, 2019

BOSTON — A research team of manly scientists believe they may have discovered a third emotion, in addition to anger…

October 25, 2019

OAKLAND, Calif. — Fancy punk Gerald Harden is flaunting his wealth by hanging relatively expensive, unwashed, 400-thread count bed sheets…

October 16, 2019

ISLAND PARK, N.Y. — Adult punk with a secret, Christian past Steve Phelan is referring to his old church youth…

October 15, 2019

PORTLAND, Ore. — Classically trained multi-instrumentalist and road-weary touring musician Joanna Newsom is hoping one of the openers for her…

October 13, 2019

CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski earned a tidy sum of $523 last week after nearly two dozen tourists…

October 10, 2019

CINCINNATI — Self-described anarcho-punk and Wells Fargo bank teller Gary Morin claimed again today that he only took his job…

October 9, 2019

Recently, the elitist SJWs of The Hard Times took a moment out of our busy lives of canceling posers to…