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Obsess Much? The ACLU Keeps Emailing Me Even Though I Already Stopped Caring About Trump Being President

Have you guys heard of this ACLU? Because apparently they’re like OBSESSED with me!

I signed up for their e-newsletter over a year ago and they’re still emailing me like crazy. News flash – No one even cares about Trump anymore. Don’t these ACLU people know Westworld is back? We’ve all moved on.

I legit don’t even know if Trump is still president. Jeb Bush or Mike Pants or whoever must have taken over by now, no?

Worst of all, the email subject lines are getting pathetic- like drunk texts from a crazy ex. “We desperately need you” and “they’re trying to take away our birth control!” and “help us save democracy!” Ugh, get over yourselves.

Don’t get me wrong, there was a 48 hour period back in November 2016 when I was mad about Trump being president and I went whole hog up in this political activism. But then I bought COD: Infinite Warfare and have been pretty much doing that ever since.

Related: Everyone Who Voted for Trump Who Isn’t My Dad Is Dead to Me

 

Let’s be honest, it’s not that bad with Trump as president. Nothing has really changed for me. Yes, I am a straight white man, but I don’t see how that fact is relevant to the previous sentence. And besides, is the start of the summer movie season really the appropriate time to care about American politics?

With the upcoming midterm elections I’ll stick with my usual plan of forgetting to vote, feeling guilty, and then going way overboard for a day or two, followed by not caring again until the next big election. And that’s exactly what I’ll be doing this November. That and playing Red Dead Redemption 2.

But how about we compromise, ACLU? You promise to quit hassling me about “saving the USA,” or whatever, and I promise to vote in the 2021 presidential election.

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