Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

September 29, 2020

COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer…

September 28, 2020

By now you’ve seen the rumors: a collection of some of Mario’s greatest 3D adventures are supposedly going to be…

September 21, 2020

HARRISBURG, Pa. — Local man and alleged former drug addict Kyle Drury is “weirdly braggy” about the apparently darkest, most…

September 12, 2020

MEQUON, Wis. — Online friends and otherwise total strangers Oscar Bean and Freddie Wagner have no idea how to end…

August 31, 2020

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local hooligan and member of the San Jose punk scene Todd Bettina was severely electrocuted yesterday…

August 30, 2020

POWAY, Calif. — Middle-aged man Jamie Lopez suddenly realized yesterday that he may be finally maturing after putting back a…

August 29, 2020

IRVINE, Calif. — Local dad and man who frequently wears his sunglasses on the back of his head Jared Stein…

August 26, 2020

SIOUX CITY, Iowa. — Local man Derrick Carney was mercilessly beaten within an inch of his life last night not…

August 19, 2020

PORTLAND, Maine. — Local woman Dani Pineda has desperately hidden her humanity from her live-in boyfriend Aaron Adams by not…

August 13, 2020

Lester William Polsfuss, better known by his stage name Les Paul, was a pioneering musician and the inventor of perhaps…