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Guitarist Can’t Decide Which Nearly Identical Photo of Him on Stage Should Be Profile Pic

NEW ORLEANS — Local guitarist Ryan Alarid is struggling to pick between two nearly identical, virtually indistinguishable photos of himself on stage for his Tinder profile pic, annoyed bandmates confirmed.

“Without a doubt the best — nay, the only — good part about being in a band is getting cool photos of yourself playing live music… and using said photos for dating profiles, social media accounts, and, God-willing, someday your obituary,” said Alarid. “So what if I’m a little picky about how I look? Everyone knows image is very important in music. As far as I’m concerned, worrying about composition and white balance more than how your music sounds is pretty punk rock, actually.”

Bandmate Alex Bednar noted that Alarid’s vain obsession has disrupted several gigs in the past, as well as most weekly band practices.

“Last Wednesday he showed us two photos of himself, playing the same song, using the same guitar, wearing the same shirt, and making nearly the exact same dopey solo face. I honestly thought it was one of those ‘spot the difference’ games at first,” said Bednar. “He’s so obsessed with looks, he won’t even let other bandmates take photos for their personal social media accounts without his approval. One time he handed out several pages of what we thought were lyrics, but it was actually a list of Instagram filters we were allowed to use.”

Alarid’s friend Janey Herzog had reportedly been designated the band’s photographer against her will, with strict orders to focus primarily on Alarid.

“According to Ryan, being band photographer means I have to follow him around and snap photos of him playing guitar, holding a puppy, chopping wood, or really anything assuming the lighting is ‘just right,’” said Herzog. “Once, he made me go with him to the venue they were playing six hours before showtime because he wanted to do a photoshoot during ‘golden hour.’ I kept trying to tell him there’s no golden hour in a windowless basement venue, but he wasn’t having it.”

At press time, Alarid was enthusiastically responding to nearly identical messages from Instagram spam bots.