Aries (March 21-April 19) Cool it, Aries. Just because you watched Childish Gambino’s “This Is America” once doesn’t mean anyone gives a shit about the…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Feel free to take a mental health break today, Aries: you need it after all the mind games you’ve…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Your temper will be your downfall this week, Aries. Pick your battles. Your Marxist memes on Facebook are concerning your family,…
Aries (March 21-April 19) You’ve been juggling your career, romance, and creative interests for the past year, Aries… and, hey: maybe it’s time to say…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Aries. Nobody cares that Josh ate your leftover take out. It was moldy, and he puked…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Tensions are high near the 15th this month — especially around your home and family life. Tell your mom to fucking…
Following Epic Games’ announcement of tomorrow’s Infinity War themed update to their smash hit Fortnite, fifty percent of PlayerUnknown’s Battlegrounds users have reportedly vanished from…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Use that Fire sign energy to call out anyone and everyone this week, Aries. It doesn’t have to make sense, or…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Multi-day music fest Welcome to Rockville was delayed on Friday after engaging in a multi-day battle against the highly competitive Welcome to…
It’s early in the morning and Twitter is ablaze after a far-right political tweet storm with intentions to “make America great again” went viral. But…
Aries (March 21-April 19) While it is true that the stars don’t know everything, they do know that you are, without a doubt, wearing a…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Mercury is finally out of the dickhead zone for you, so enjoy the reprieve. Use the time to subject everyone to…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Rockville mayor “Rowdy” Randy Holmes was removed from his elected position this morning after being deemed unfit to lead in even the…
Aries (March 21-April 19) As an Aries, it’s no secret that you can be a giant diva from time to time… and you know what?…
Hard Times investigates an age-old question: What was the world’s first meme? And what did Billy Idol have to do with it? To see…