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Mom Subtly Suggests One Picture Without Girlfriends, Just In Case

SANTA FE, N.M. — Local mother-of-three Melissa Trayne suggested “one photo without the girlfriends” today, implying they may not want some of the women in the family photo album in the future, annoyed sources confirmed.

“Now let’s do one without the partners,” said the mother, definitely thinking of one particular partner more than the others. “Cute! Just like that. Dad in the middle.”

Sources say the couple who arrived late like always was the most likely one who spurred the safety shot.

“Mom is less subtle now about her distaste for our girlfriends,” said Pete, the youngest Trayne son. “When my brother Clark and his girlfriend Jessie [Smith] rolled in an hour late, Mom didn’t even have a seat for her at the table. She made a joke about how, at her old age, she’s ‘not so good at math no more’ and grabbed a plastic chair off the patio.”

When asked about the prospects of each relationship lasting, Mrs. Trayne remained tight lipped, but hinted at trouble.

“I know my boys,” said the postmenopausal mother who only gets to see her family together on major holidays and enjoys a once-monthly phone call from each son. “Jessie won’t be joining us next year. A mom knows when her boy isn’t happy.”

Ms. Smith reportedly did not know this may be her third and final holiday dinner with the Trayne family.

“It’s normal. I don’t mind,” said Smith of Mrs. Trayne’s increasingly overt disgust at her presence. “Melissa is so nice. Nicer than that chicken — a little dry. Yuck. I hope Taco Bell is open on the way home or something.”

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