Tambourine Player Hopes to Take Next Step and Quit Music
SEATTLE — Local tambourine player Owen Albrecht of prog rock band BSMNT is hoping to follow in the footsteps of…
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Laura McCarthy
8 stories found
Isolated Tribe Just Learning About Dimebag Darrell’s Death
TRØNDELAG COUNTY, Norway — News of departed Pantera guitarist “Dimebag” Darrell Abbott’s 2004 death just reached the isolated Kjårn tribe…
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Study Finds Wyoming Ranked 50th Amongst States Alphabetically
MADISON, Wis. — Lead scientists from the University of Wisconsin–Madison have found Wyoming to be ranked 50th amongst states alphabetically,…
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Beautiful Civil Rights Speech Brings Police to Tear Gas
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Local police monitoring a peaceful crowd of thousands who had gathered to listen to a civil rights…
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Dog Sent to Spacious Upstate Farm for Execution
GHENT, N.Y. — Beloved family Golden Retriever, Pretzel, was sent to an expansive 80-acre upstate farm earlier this week where…
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Grandma Still Searching for Word to Describe Thing from Irrelevant Part of Story
ST. LOUIS — Local Grandma Delores “Meemaw” Naggi is still trying to recall the name of “the doohickey Mr. So-and-So…
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Goth Mom Hangs “Die, Cry, Hate” Sign in Family Rumpus Room
RACINE, Wis. — Goth enthusiast and mother of four Obsidia Darque Jackson added a charming new “Die, Cry, Hate” sign…
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Long-Term Boyfriend Finally Proposes Anal
DAYTON, Ohio — Local romantic Colin Novak finally proposed anal to his longtime girlfriend Amanda Hale yesterday at the couple’s…
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