RACINE, Wis. — Goth enthusiast and mother of four Obsidia Darque Jackson added a charming new “Die, Cry, Hate” sign to her family’s rumpus room yesterday in hopes of darkening-up the space.
“I really like what it does for the atmosphere,” Jackson said while gesturing towards an area styled in mid-12th-century modern décor. “It really brings out that big bowl of fake, dead fruit on the coffin table, and all those pillows with raven silhouettes on the couch. Plus, when I got it, they gave me a coupon for 20% off my next purchase at Michael’s, which isn’t anything to turn your nose up at.”
Not everyone in the Jackson household is as excited about the new wooden sign, however.
“I hate it. It’s a basic-ass decoration. And it feels symptomatic of a greater, more commercial change in my wife,” said her husband, Acantha Blue, his arms crossed tightly over his studded leather vest. “She’s straying from the alt scene and becoming a walking Evanescence song — a total poser. She’s used Facebook to invite friends to industrial raves instead of passing out fliers in streets three times this year… and don’t think I haven’t noticed her waning ability to scream in fluent German. Plus, she hardly wears her bridge piercing anymore. What’s next — tanned skin and a foosball table?”
Others agreed, citing Jackson’s dwindling authenticity to the goth scene.
“When I first met the Jacksons, they were the picture-perfect goth couple, rattling my walls with Type O Negative and dark wave music well into the morning,” said neighbor and local school principal Frank Maslowski. “Nowadays, I barely hear Joy Division after 10 p.m. So trad. No wonder her kids don’t consider the lifestyle as cool as it used to be.”
Darque vehemently denied her sign is evidence she’s becoming a mall goth, claiming that she’s as “committed to the scene as ever” and citing her new job as a distributor for HerbaDeath.