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Turkey Pardoned By President Will Kill Again

WASHINGTON — President Trump pardoned a 5-year old Bourbon Red turkey named Mikey this morning, sparking outrage amongst law enforcement officials who insist the turkey…

FBI Demands Apple Explain T-Shirt Reference

CUPERTINO, Calif. – Less than a week after the FBI announced it had cracked Apple’s iPhone encryption technology on its own, federal investigators have returned…

Local Psychopath Eats Breakfast For Dinner

HARTFORD, CT – In a disturbing display of antisocial behavior, local psychopath Chaz Milwall bragged to coworkers that he routinely eats traditional breakfast entrees for…