Maintenance Request From 3 Apartments Ago Finally Approved
DALLAS — Local woman Claudia Rodriguez was stunned this afternoon upon receiving an email approving maintenance for an apartment she…
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James Webster
34 stories found
Woman Ghosted Seven Days After Watching Cursed Skate Video
LOS ANGELES — Local barista Ashley Campos was dismayed to realize that she was ghosted by a skater exactly seven…
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Pro-Life Movement Handed Victory That Will Kill Thousands
WASHINGTON — Pro-life fundamentalists are rejoicing today after controversial Supreme Court nominee Amy Coney Barrett was officially confirmed to the…
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Sex Paused to Flip Record
SEATTLE — A passionate bout of intercourse between local couple Robert Levin and Andrea MacNeil was put on hold this…
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New JK Rowling Novel Written Entirely in 4chan Greentext
LONDON — Best-selling author JK Rowling announced today that her new novel Troubled Blood will be published anonymously, written entirely…
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Miracle of Birth Results in Accountant Named Gary
RACINE, Wis. — Local accountant and not-much-else Gary Wilkerson is alive despite astronomical odds to the contrary, according to sources…
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Daffy Duck Opens Up About Painkiller Addiction After Years Of Having Beak Spun Around To Back Of Head
Chances are, you’re familiar with Daffy Duck. At time of writing, the funny fowl has been splitting sides over the…
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12-Year-Old Added To Terrorist Watchlist After Drawing Anarchy Symbol On Chemistry Notebook
COLUMBUS — Local 7th grader Theo Hansen was shocked to learn that he had been added to the national terrorist…
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Quarantined Roommates Mistake Enabling Each Other’s Drinking As Burgeoning Friendship
ALBANY, N.Y. — Roommates Jonah Gray and Nic Shore have become fast friends under New York State’s PAUSE order by…
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Mask Made From Band Shirt Judged
LOS ANGELES — Local metalhead Rob Kurtz was reportedly called out at the grocery store yesterday for converting an old…
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