James Webster, Author at HARDTIMES

band shirt, live stream, metal, hardcore

Guy Can’t Decide Which Shirt to Wear While Watching Band’s Instagram Live Stream

April 8, 2020

Austin, Texas — Local punk Michael Russell struggled yesterday to pick a T-shirt to wear while watching the Instagram live…

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CDC Recommends All Americans Keep Audio Logs During Pandemic for Future Protagonists to Stumble Upon

March 13, 2020

WASHINGTON — At a press conference this afternoon, CDC Director Robert Redfield urged all American citizens to begin keeping audio…

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conor oberst, folk, indie, inspired, regret

Conor Oberst Can’t Believe He Used to Relate to Bright Eyes Lyrics

February 5, 2020

OMAHA, Neb. — Indie-folk legend Conor Oberst was deeply and truly mortified yesterday by the Bright Eyes lyrics he needed…

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Friend Will Be Live on College Radio Station From 1 A.M. to 4 A.M. If You Want to Tune In

January 7, 2020

CARSON CITY, Nev. — Your good friend Tony Suarez will make his radio debut tonight with his punk band The…

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Bell Witch Still Playing First Show of 2017 Tour

July 24, 2019

DENVER — Portland-based funeral/doom band Bell Witch are reportedly still playing the first show of their 2017 tour several years…

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Historians Discover First House Show Still Hasn’t Started

May 26, 2019

RICHMOND, Va. — Researchers and social archaeologists at Virginia Commonwealth University discovered last week that the first-ever house show scheduled…

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REPORT: Guy with Tiny Beanie Announces Engagement to Girl Wearing Overalls

May 20, 2019

NEW YORK — Local man with a small beanie Casey Rosevear announced his engagement today via Facebook to Liz McNamara,…

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Tragic: Distant Aliens Just Now Receiving Radio Waves of Bad Simpsons Episodes

March 5, 2019

WASHINGTON — Astrophysicists from the NASA confirmed that radio waves of the bad The Simpsons seasons are beginning to reach…

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Guy Really Excited To Explain The Importance of Bikini Kill Reunion

January 21, 2019

NEW YORK — Local punk Kyle Gilbert is ecstatic for his countless opportunities to explain the historical significance of Bikini…

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Man Without Health Insurance Just Going to Give It a Few More Days

December 10, 2018

ATHENS, Ga. — Local uninsured and ailing man Jordan Cohen announced today that he will “just give it a few…

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