YUBA CITY, Calif. — A reported breach in self-quarantine last week has left four dead and another two hospitalized after a fit of contagious laughter…
MOAB, Utah — Local woman and alleged 10-year “social smoker” Keria Morley has virtually no known social life outside of walking her neighbor’s dog occasionally,…
As co-owner of the sixth of the most respected skate shops in Albany, I have an unwritten responsibility to protect my crew from unfair skate…
DALLAS — Former Shit Scrotum frontwoman-turned-real estate agent Nell Marsh is confident the unfinished basement featured in her latest property listing will be a major…
BALTIMORE — A new study conducted by researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed that the mysterious glow many women experience during their early months of…
Going out to eat with friends or family who’ve never worked in food service can be humiliating. As they talk among each other and idly…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local showgoer Alex Andrade ventured off to the restroom last night in hopes of finding a toilet seat that “felt just right,…
EUGENE, Ore. – A local fuck-up is hopeful this morning that the nutrients from his half-consumed Synergy Gingerberry kombucha will be more than enough to…
NEW YORK — The New York City Department of Parks and Recreation released today its highly anticipated annual summer guide, which now includes the best…
DULUTH, Minn. — A new report released today in the New England Journal of Medicine claims that the feeling of being in love with someone…
JUPITER, Fla. — Local woman Kim Vandiver’s search history is cluttered for the fourth day in a row with Buzzfeed quizzes and Craigslist apartments she…
PORTLAND, Ore. — A group of Ouija board players were visited by a punk member of the ether last night, who communicated that it was…
I’m probably being a hypochondriac but does anyone know if The Flaming Lips are contagious? I was tested earlier this year but I don’t remember…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Local woman Alicia Tsoi is still not sure what to get for her first tattoo removal, despite several years of considering her…
All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit your pants at your girlfriend’s…