Dom Turek, Author at HARDTIMES

February 14, 2023

This woman’s boyfriend just gave her a dozen long-stemmed red roses for “no reason.” Oh no! She’s probably going to…

January 23, 2023

You’re back at your date’s place and if the natural order of things follows, a Baltimore Handshake lies wait in…

January 11, 2023

TUCSON, Ariz. — Local interior designer Sara “Slime” Gonzales gave Maggot House a much-needed makeover after convincing its residents to…

December 18, 2022

HIALEAH, Fla. — A new report from local drunk Emily Kinder indicates that the standards of alcoholism held by her…

December 2, 2022

Derek and Cristina Bracken's too-cool-for-school child-rearing practices were so lax that their children were taken away from them and made…

November 27, 2022

Not to be dramatic, but I would rather listen to a parrot read the Old Farmer’s Almanac from start to…

November 8, 2022

When Stephanie McKinley called me an ugly big-nosed freak in 9th grade, I knew I was destined for great things.…

September 13, 2022

The right teacher can have a profound impact on children during their adolescence, so we decided to catch up with…

June 25, 2022

PORTSMOUTH, N.H. — Local heterosexual Christine Gonzales was stumped midway through creating an online dating profile after the app asked…

April 5, 2022

Oh fuck, not again. Dad is motioning for our server to come over. She already remade his Arnold Palmer with…