We at The Hard Times like to joke about a lot of things, but deceiving the public into believing that you are the World’s Greatest…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local punk and self-proclaimed scene veteran Rory “Iceman” Phillips was denied a free Grand Slam at Denny’s this morning, a perk the…
SAN DIEGO – Several passersby were bewildered yesterday by what must have been a steampunk of some sort, quietly reading a print newspaper by himself…
Look, we’ve all been there. You’ve decided to take a nice, relaxing vacation, sailing by yourself in the middle of the South Pacific, with no…
SAN FRANCISCO — A young San Franciscan couple enjoyed the beginnings of autumn this weekend, relishing the sight of a homeless person in the Mission…
Dear Claire, This letter will probably not come as a shock to you, after your shameless performance at White Castle last night. Frankly, I don’t…
DAYTON, Ohio — The United States of America was embarrassed to admit it accidentally double-booked two mass shootings within 24 hours of each other, sources…
BOISE, Idaho — Touring band Star Monkey traded one of their roadies last night to fellow touring band Tree Destroyer, exchanging him for a new…
MINNEAPOLIS — A guitarist for local metal outfit Goat Theory was fired last week, forced to shave his beard and return it to the group…
SAN FRANCISCO — A select group of lucky fans backstage after an Anthrax show last night were ultimately disappointed to learn that Scott Ian’s goatee…
YPSILANTI, Mich. — Local man Toby Campbell was humiliated last night by accidentally wearing a thrash metal shirt to a doom metal show, according to…
CHICAGO — Attendees of this year’s Prog-A-Thon Talent Metal Festival were confused to see Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy playing on a separate, much bigger…
CINCINNATI — Members of local indie-rock band Dragon Farm are positive their full set of amps will easily fit in a Toyota Yaris, forgoing taking…
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Pop-punk frontman and legal adult Brandon DeMarco combed through his teen girlfriend’s diary last night for inspiration, in a desperate attempt to…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Legendary singer/songwriter Bob Dylan incorrectly introduced several of his own songs at a concert yesterday as “covers,” despite having written them himself…