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football

GameStop Offers $13.75 for the Carolina Panthers

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CHARLOTTE, N.C.— Following the surprising announcement that the Carolina Panthers will be put up for sale in the […]

Hard Drive Posted on April 7, 2018April 7, 2018

Local Gamer Secretly Hoping Giant Fox Robots Actual Part of Super Bowl

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PHILADELPHIA — Local nerd-culture fan Mac Armory, 22, is secretly hoping that one of those cool Fox Sports football-playing […]

Hard Drive Posted on February 4, 2018February 4, 2018

Boycott: I’m Afraid NFL End Zone Celebrations Are Turning My Son Gay

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My name is Bert Wilson and I have a message for NFL commissioner Roger Goodell: put an end […]

Hard Style Posted on November 26, 2017April 21, 2018

High School Elects Some Loser with Cancer as Homecoming King Instead of Rad Quarterback

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MT. VERNON, Wash. — Students and faculty at George Washington High School were enraged last week after cancer-stricken […]

News/Politics Posted on September 13, 2017September 14, 2017

Madden 2018 to Feature Stats of Star Defense Lawyers

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NEW YORK — EA Sports announced today that the 2018 version of their popular Madden NFL franchise will […]

Hard Drive Posted on September 10, 2017September 10, 2017

Player Stirs Controversy by Refusing to Stand During Madden’s Loading Screen

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MADISON, Wis. — Local Twitch streamer Todd McCabe has caused an uproar by refusing to stand during the Madden […]

Hard Drive Posted on September 2, 2017September 1, 2017

I Agree With Colin Kaepernick, the National Anthem Is Gay

I Agree With Colin Kaepernick: the National Anthem Is Gay
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Colin Kaepernick is giving a voice to us fellow Americans who have, up until this point, gone unheard. […]

Hard Style Posted on August 21, 2017August 18, 2017

I’m an Ex-NFL Plyaer and Nohtnig Is Wnrog Wtih My Brian

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The NFL has come under unfair criticism over the past several years. One of the main issues “scientists” […]

Hard Style Posted on July 26, 2017July 25, 2017

Football Coach Wins 5 Championships by Calling Only Fake Field Goals

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JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Seattle head coach Mike Rubino celebrated his fifth Super Bowl win Sunday night after calling […]

Hard Drive Posted on June 19, 2017April 22, 2018

Sarcastic Punk Hopes Peyton Manguy Scores 30 Home Runs at Sports Ball Championship

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SAN FRANCISCO – Facebook friends of local punk Jeff Lewis report they were “thoroughly amused” by a recent […]

CultureHall of Fame Posted on February 7, 2016April 22, 2018

Family Prepares for Another Horrible Thanksgiving With Vegan Punk Son

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CRANBROOK, Ohio – Local parents Molly and Chip Hartsock have been preparing for what is bound to be another […]

CulturePunk/HardcoreStraight Edge/Vegan Posted on November 26, 2015April 21, 2018

PC Punk’s Closet Full of Skeletons Wearing Washington Redskins Gear

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TAKOMA PARK, M.D. – Mikey Lewis, a political punk with a penchant for calling out people on Facebook, […]

ActivismCulturePunk/Hardcore Posted on September 15, 2015April 21, 2018
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