DENVER — Local woman Margaret Phelmer is reportedly struggling to embrace her new polyamorous lifestyle following a disastrous haircut, concerned sources confirm. “I went to…
SAN DIEGO — Local procrastinator Rupa Patel claims she’s never more productive around the house than when she’s on tight deadlines at the office with…
FRANKLIN, Tenn. – Local Guitar Center customer Jess Haylin was unaware that a routine trip to buy equipment would lead to her becoming the muse…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local woman Tracey Garibay entered the wild world of bondage by trying on a pair of American Apparel skinny jeans she hadn’t…
BOSTON — Local guitarist Lacey Buntz successfully replaced the low E string on her acoustic guitar using a thick, incredibly long, jet-black, chin hair she…
PHOENIX — 35-year-old Cassie Lozano is in critical condition after she foolishly came to the conclusion she needed to limit her caffeine intake and decided…
EUGENE, Ore. — Lesbian-owned tattoo parlor Rock Scissored Paper offers its dedicated clientele a variety of tattoo options as long as they are Celtic knots…
Portland, Ore. — Local woman Rachel Vance claims that if she had a cartoon counterpart it would be the sarcastic, intelligent Daria Morgendorffer, despite ample…
BROOKLYN, NY — 35-year-old straight woman Jenny Spencer wasted no time introducing her boyfriend Mike Kang as her “partner” to her lesbian friend, Beth Castillo.…
SPARKS, Nev. — Local man Richard Baxter stopped kissing the woman he’s been dating for two weeks to wonder if she was also bothered by…
TACOMA, Wash. — Show regular Harmony Smith put the seat down in the bathroom of venue Plaid Pig before squatting and hovering above the toilet…
PITTSBURGH — Self-proclaimed “scene kid” and 38-year-old woman Kaitlyn Holden adorned her body with two nautical star tattoos twenty years too late, according to sources…
CHICAGO 一 Local woman and record collector Sara Yousefi feels extremely relieved and happy that a random man has decided to gatekeep nu-metal, groaning sources…
BOSTON — Local woman Ava Rivera experienced what she believed to be a breakthrough last week after suffering her first panic attack about something realistically…
NEW YORK — Local woman Francisca Noguera asked her abusive partner of five months if he could extend his grooming habits to include his hygiene,…