SEATTLE — Starbucks officials announced that the chain will now sell straight-up garbage for customers to throw in the fucking roads of their neighborhoods in…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Tenants of a local punk house are locked in a bitter discourse of what actually constitutes garbage, despite weeks of living amongst…
PATERSON, N.J. — Local garbage collector Vince LePaglia couldn’t believe the putrid stench emanating from the tour van of punk band The Oozing Lesions that…
SAN BERNARDINO, Calif. — Lifelong punk and mother of three Annette “Annarchy” Gustavson reportedly insisted that her entire family exhaustively trash their home before company…
TOKYO — Trash stacking Olympian for Team USA, and resented roommate, Erica Forman qualified for the Tokyo 2020 finals of Stacking Trash On Top of…
WASHINGTON — Far-right conspiracy theorist and representative for Georgia’s 14th congressional district, Marjorie Taylor Greene, exceeded previous fundraising efforts after posting a disturbing video in…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local crust punk David Wong firmly believes that “corporations are an evil plague on society,” which is why he only dumpster dives…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local Lowe’s manager Darrell Winchester removed Slipknot percussionist Shawn “Clown” Crahan from the store again last week after he spent hours…
Goddammit, I can’t believe this happened again. I take my Trash out every Monday and for a while things were fine, but lately we’ve been…
It’s that time of the day. You must distract yourself from the momentary mundaneness of a simple chore. That garbage bag filled to the brim…
EUGENE, Ore. — Perpetually inconsiderate roommate Michael Chabot was thrilled yesterday to discover a giant pile of garbage in his shared kitchen, knowing he finally…
PHILADELPHIA — Guitar Center employee Henry Stiltz dragged another day’s worth of unsold gear to the dumpster at the end of his shift Tuesday, according…
DENVER — Members of local hardcore crew Mile High Wolfpack adopted a stretch of highway last month, which has since fallen into complete and utter…
A cable cutting out in the middle of band practice is a highly frustrating and commonplace occurrence. A workplace hazard, even. Fortunately for the unfortunate…
AMHERST, Mass. — Local resident Minkont Cranford stunned his roommates yesterday with his acquisition of an oversized, bulky organ, discovered on the street for free…