ALBANY, N.Y. – A severe drought of talented drummers within the local scene is forcing multiple bands to recruit novice percussionist Trevor Hogue despite his…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Forty-year-old punk Dave Taverston reportedly hit his limit for new music he is physically and psychologically capable of consuming earlier this week,…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — A tiny, free public library at the foot of a residential driveway was forced to ban an extremely small man who was…
WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in his social circle, according to…
DETROIT — Local short person Elizabeth Kramer spent $90 on floor tickets for an upcoming concert after forgetting that she’s only 5’2”, sources who have…
OSPREY, Fla. — The Sarasota Friends School was pleased to announce this week that in addition to maintaining its status as one of the county’s…
LANSING, Mich. — A new punk census surveyed scenes across the nation gauging the health of local DIY communities, and alarmingly found the numbers everywhere…
NUTLEY, W.V. — A small-town Waffle House has been recognized as the only space the local punk scene can claim as a venue, despite its…
CINCINNATI — Members of local indie-rock band Dragon Farm are positive their full set of amps will easily fit in a Toyota Yaris, forgoing taking…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local woman and online shopper Darla Castro is reconsidering her lack of children after a search for her favorite band’s shirt yielded only…
MONTREAL — Gildan Activewear has developed new technology enabling band T-shirts to shrink without ever having to be washed, Gildan’s team of scientists announced today…
SEATTLE — Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos announced his plans today to “personally beat the shit out of small business owners across the country”…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Scientists at the University of California-Santa Cruz revealed this morning that, after extensive research and clinical trials, they have discovered a…
COTUIT, Mass. – Local merchandise legend Marky Merch, well known for encouraging people to purchase larger-sized T-shirts because “they will shrink,” had a near-death experience…