HOBOKEN, N.J. — Local nonbeliever and Bon Jovi fan Tami Clarkson has been mentally cruising through unemployment solely by the quotes and wisdom of atheist…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) announced today that Americans who have been surgically attached to others at the mouth and/or…
For generations, scientists have attempted to assess the intelligence of chimpanzees. We have discovered they are able to use tools, communicate via sign language, and…
AMSTERDAM — Leading climate scientists have made a startling announcement, alleging that passionate fan enthusiasm for The Simpsons could dwindle to just one season by…
As we’ve all learned first hand from our uncles at any family function, alcohol can have a devastating effect on the human mind and body.…
BOSTON — Researchers have made an astonishing breakthrough in the study of time and space, discovering a measurement small enough to determine the exact amount…
During a Hard Times office party, I said to the higher-ups we should use some of our PPP loan to perfect a way to bring…
KEENE, N.H. — Local crystal healer and tarot card reader Elizabeth Stuart plans to donate her body to pseudoscience upon her passing, friends and spiritual…
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s experimental use of the anti-malarial drug Hydroxychloroquine has transformed the Commander-in-Chief from a boorish, morbidly obese, whiny turd into the suave…
PITTSBURGH — Researchers at Carnegie Mellon University released a disturbing report today predicting that 100% of erotic asphyxiation will be automated by the year 2028,…
We all want the best for our children, and in an increasingly competitive world that presents challenges. In the information age technology is evolving faster…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology’s Department of Physics announced today the theoretical discovery of the fifth sequence of the energy/alcohol…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Researchers at the University of California-Berkeley published a study today claiming that rising sea levels, if left unmitigated, could give way to…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Self-described “hole fan” Chris Richardson is reportedly dismayed that the newly discovered “large space hole” by scientists had to be black. “Listen,…
I for one am FED UP with fake SJW hypocrites who CLAIM to speak up for the little guy and still use borderline HATE SPEECH.…