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Hydroxychloroquine Transforms President Trump Into Cool Alter Ego “Donny Love”

WASHINGTON — President Trump’s experimental use of the anti-malarial drug Hydroxychloroquine has transformed the Commander-in-Chief from a boorish, morbidly obese, whiny turd into the suave and debonair alter ego “Donny Love,” shocked yet oddly charmed sources confirmed.

“Weeks ago, the President demanded that his personal doctor start supplying him with Hydroxychloroquine — and that it be in ‘potion’ form, preferably served from a beaker with vapor coming off of it. So for the past few weeks, I’ve been dissolving Hydroxychloroquine in water, adding some neon green food dye to it, and serving it to the President alongside his morning burgers,” said White House aide Dana Collinsworth. “Then all of a sudden one day, Trump emerged from the oval office wearing a sharp pair of sunglasses, 150 pounds lighter, and with his hair slicked back, saying, ‘You can call me Donny Love. Or D.L. if you like. All my friends do,’ while sipping a Stella Artois.”

Trump’s personal physician Dr. Sean Conley shared his thoughts on the unexpected development.

“While we have yet to confirm whether or not Hydroxychloroquine is effective in combating COVID-19, we agree that Donny Love is without a doubt the coolest president in American history. And that’s even including Taft,” said Conley. “But Hydroxychloroquine comes with some risk: I tried to tell the President that the drug may be doing untold damage to his heart, but he just said, ‘No need to razz my berries, daddy-o,’ and mixed me a highball. He also reunited me with my estranged brother. It’s been a real treat having Donny Love around.”

Hardcore Trump supporters, like Republican Austin Jakinsky, are unsure what to make of the President’s “radical change.”

“I knew something was up when he shared a pic of himself with a sensible salad instead of his usual three Big Macs. And he hasn’t tweeted an insane conspiracy theory or thinly veiled racist insult in days. It’s astounding,” said Jakinsky. “Then just yesterday, he charmed Nancy Pelosi on Twitter by asking her if she’d like to ‘shake a tail feather once this corona shindig is over’ at a local jazz club to discuss the deficit. I don’t get it. Is being a civil human being the new way of owning the libs, or something?”

At press time, President Donny Love had deleted President Donald Trump’s Twitter account, adding, “That orange baboon’s whacked out of his gourd, ya dig?”