LOS ANGELES — Out-of-work actor and outspoken conservative Kevin Sorbo sent his professional headshot to political commentator and apparent filmmaker Ben Shapiro in the off-chance…
WARRINGTON, Pa. — Local man and guy who “maybe enjoys an occasional drink, no big deal” Dennis Walsh realized yesterday that alcoholism is the only…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — Local musician Wes Feltus is allegedly receiving ill-placed sympathy from friends who assume his income came from playing music until the COVID-19…
JONESBORO, Ark. — Local burnout Declan Goddard finally achieved his long-term goal of securing a “sort of funny” and “only a little sad” credit score…
MIAMI — Local holiday and generally despised time of the year, Valentine’s Day, is determined to absolutely destroy one of the few relationships that’s somehow…
SAN FRANCISCO — Members of local punk band Loogie Howser are eager to return to their bustling itinerary of playing nearly three shows a year,…
WASHINGTON — America’s first-born males made a stunning about-face to decades of tradition yesterday by announcing they will no longer buy alcohol for siblings younger…
RYE, UNITED KINGDOM — Legendary musician and founding member of the Beatles Paul McCartney admitted today that he wished someone would occasionally ask him about…
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Smith & Smith Real Estate property photographer Joshua Abernathy regularly receives workplace criticism for his unhelpful photos of rental units, but…
SAN FRANCISCO — Airplane passengers aboard Delta flight 2871 from Chicago to Los Angeles are hoping local softboy Lou Mounton will eventually just cry himself…
CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local wife and generally good sport Lezlie Colon spent several hours last night convincing her husband David that his small business, Seasonal…
PHILADELPHIA — Highly influential emo band Crowquill reportedly split today after producing just 30 minutes of recorded music and playing two live shows over the…
MARQUETTE, Mich. — Local resident Jessica Stabley recently watched 85 episodes of a television series she doesn’t even like, purely due to quarantine-induced boredom, sources…
WILMINGTON, N.C. — Hallmark Channel’s signature Christmas-themed romance movies reportedly promote an unhealthy expectation of any kind of human interaction, according to a new study…
LOS ANGELES — 35-year-old self-described “Dashboard Confessional superfan” David Calva awoke today to find his male-pattern baldness went into overdrive, leaving his hair everywhere. “The…