WASHINGTON — A flying sleigh led by eight tiny reindeer confirmed to belong to Santa Claus was found in violation of United States no-fly zone…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — After a decade of constant touring, indie rock trio Thanks for the Manatees finally cashed in the 10,000 drink tickets they collected…
ODENSE, Kan. — An ugly Christmas sweater has reportedly grown up into a beautiful bathrobe, in what one lucky local man described as a “Christmas…
RENO, Nev. — Several founding members of local group chat “Wild Boyz” have started a new thread dedicated entirely to mocking one individual from the…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — While the rest of the world is out buying presents for loved ones this holiday season, local man Benjamin Edwards is…
NEW YORK — A much-needed last-minute practice for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was delayed yet again by fucking Dale Andrews, who was late to rehearsal for the…
DENVER — Local resident Dan Biez confirmed a leaked financial report earlier today, disclosing that the kief catcher on his marijuana grinder, which accumulates small…
v EGAS — The anarchist bowling team known as the Eight Pin Workdays failed yet again to properly organize a single strike during a not-so-friendly…
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Recent iOS convert and devout iPhone user Dale Bowman has begun to pray five times per day toward the Apple, Inc.…
NEW YORK – An ancient genie, sworn to grant three wishes to whomever releases him from his magic lamp, was taken aback by his current…
MOS EISLEY, Tatooine — Brutal, untamed pits are held as a hallmark of any worthwhile scene. But according to one part-time bartender of a local…
TORONTO — The resident sound guy of Queen Street Hall is at the center of a tense hostage situation, according to authorities gathered outside the…
WASHINGTON — The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration will recall over 550,000 units of the popular “COEXIST” bumper sticker due to an ineffective and unsustainable…
DETROIT — Local goth teen Shelly Davis announced plans to ruin her family’s Christmas card for the third year in a row, according to a…
THE PAS, Manitoba – The 12 men known to make up a small town hardcore scene located in rural, midwestern Canada also serve as a…