BALTIMORE — Surgeons at Johns Hopkins Medical Center recently performed the first successful procedure to physiologically affix classic rock fan Denny Clainsborough’s girlfriend, Jill, atop…
EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A punk mom put pressure on her happily married 36-year-old daughter to get divorced before it’s too late, sources close to…
CORNWALL, UK — Singer and pianist Tori Amos officially entered into a domestic partnership with her longtime piano bench in a quiet ceremony with close…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local woman Alicia Beacon discovered a major red flag during her first date with Tony Delough in his overwhelmingly vocal distaste for…
CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a lot more action if he…
HOMESTEAD, Iowa — 32-year-old big city girl Vikki Rue reluctantly entered an intense but brief romance with local inn-keeper Ian Bridges that immediately ended once…