MADISON, Conn. — Local dad Elliot Chapman announced today that, in addition to keeping six feet of physical distance to flatten the curve of the…
CAPE MAY, N.J. — Punk mom Tracy Barber admitted today that the forearm tattoos listing the names of her children are more a “practical reminder”…
ALTOONA, Pa. — Anthony Spengler, the drummer for the hardcore band Unabashed, cleared off half of the band’s usual merch of T-shirts, buttons, and barely…
DAYTON, Ohio — Local 38-year-old scenester James Adkins is bemoaning to anyone who will listen that up-and-coming emo kids are no longer learning firsthand about…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local mother Kerry Mendez happily spent an hour of her Sunday afternoon last week resewing a “Fuck Authority” patch to her daughter’s…
CORAL SPRINGS, Fla. — New Found Glory frontman Jordan Pundik reported he’s no longer motivated to write lyrics about teenage breakups, instead focusing on the…
CHESANING, Mich. — A sandwich bag containing approximately four grams of oregano was successfully sold to a group of middle school kids under the pretense…
Harmony Korine is one of the most interesting directors of his generation. His films are bizarre, uncomfortable trips into unexpected places. I thought it’d be…
Having a child is an experience you can’t comprehend until you’ve done it. So they tell me. I’m too busy doing cool shit. Anyway, here’s…
DOVER, N.H. — Avid heckler Roland Cobb was escorted out of a local park today for yelling at a group of small children talking amongst…
LODI, N.J. — A group of neighborhood kids scattered and hid for the rest of the afternoon yesterday after their baseball accidentally smashed “crazy old…
Dear Little bro, You’re a real cool guy. Pretty much everyone agrees with me: Mom, Dad, Uncle Andy. It’s been a long time coming but…
Written by Jeremy Kaplowitz. Edited by Giovanni Colantonio.
Honestly, you guys all need to quit your whining because divorce is much easier than people make it out to be. Just look at me;…
I am not calling you a liar, I am just saying that is not what my older brother told me and he knows what he…