WASHINGTON — The Biden administration revealed details of their plan to vaccinate five to 11-year-olds in the coming weeks to ensure that these children will…
TOMS RIVER, N.J. — Middle-schooler Gavin Dirnt caught up on the beloved HBO series “The Sopranos” by watching his Italian friend’s parents fight over the…
So you’re a gearhead, huh? You think you’ve got a sweet gear collection? Alright, if you’re so sure of yourself, then how about putting your…
It’s no secret that the food service industry is in crisis mode right now. Citing poor pay, a lack of benefits, and dehumanizing treatment from…
OGDEN, Utah — The recorder community grieved this week as its oldest living member, Jenny “Jelly Roll” Wilson, passed away at the seasoned age of…
BILLINGS, Mont. — Childless freak by choice Shelby Van Camp recognized yesterday that the silver lining to the colossal shitshow that is life right now…
Elder abuse is a serious, often unrecognized crisis affecting some of our most vulnerable citizens. Me, in particular. Don’t believe me? Well, just head on…
THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. — Local high school freshman Mason Daniels was forced to become a member of his local punk community after a self-administered haircut…
Move over, Christian Bale. There’s a way more method-y actor in Hollywood, and it’s none other than 2021’s Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards nominee for Favorite…
BIKINI BOTTOM― Longtime cashier Squidward Tentacles is the lead suspect in a mass shooting at the Krusty Krab which left one employee dead and a…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Daniel Powers is searching for an acceptable way to find out if his niece’s upcoming birthday party will be BYOB or…
MEDFORD, Ore. — A sleepover between longtime friends Billy Potter and Sam Cortland turned sour after the former discovered his best friend’s house smells weird,…
PHILADELPHIA — Local millennial Lauren Toole and her live-in boyfriend Nick McIntyre are making an effort to not argue in front of their new houseplant…
BANGOR, Maine — Middle-aged goth Richard Irwin stashed his collection of The Cure’s landmark fourth album “Pornography” in the woods behind his house yesterday to…
NEW YORK — Spotify CEO Daniel Ek reportedly won .0005% custody of his children in a landmark hearing yesterday, according to leaked court documents and…