Dan Kozuh
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March 16, 2020
ATLANTA — The Center for Disease Control and Prevention released a statement earlier today warning citizens to abstain from creating…
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Peter Woods
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March 15, 2020
WASHINGTON — Democratic Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders accidentally told former Vice President Joe Biden “nice set” after tonight’s democratic debate,…
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Patrick Coyne
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March 15, 2020
TACOMA, Wash. — Bassist Todd Francona, recently accused of sexual misconduct by several women, was just happy that his name…
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John Danek
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March 15, 2020
ATLANTA — Local emotional support dog and shivering, terrified Spitz-mix Bartholomew was forced yesterday to fly on a 5-hour commercial…
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Luke Woodward
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March 15, 2020
BARLOW, Ky. — Local woman Roxana Carozza is entering her 20th hour of the dreaded “Midwestern goodbye” this morning, still…
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Kevin Tit
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March 14, 2020
ALISO VIEJO, Calif. — The And1 clothing company is introducing a new line of shorts crafted specifically for hardcore kids…
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Johnny Mo
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March 14, 2020
GLENDALE, Calif. — Fraud victim Megan Howard made an emergency exit through her date’s bathroom window last night after an…
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Bobby Korec
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March 14, 2020
DENVER — Local police apprehended miscreant Max Yelban last night for mischievously shouting “Arcade Fire” in a crowded theater and…
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Claire Brown
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March 13, 2020
CHICAGO — Pop-rock band and music video powerhouses OK Go recently celebrated reaching over one billion views on their YouTube…
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Cory Cousins
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March 13, 2020
CINCINNATI — Brent Samuels, widely regarded as a terrible friend and questionable person all around, abruptly suspended his viewing last…
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