Patrick Coyne
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April 25, 2020
SPRINGFIELD, Va. — A surprising new study found that in reality, your cat’s voice sounds nothing like the lispy, insultingly…
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Justin Cox
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April 25, 2020
SEATTLE — Online retailer Amazon officially declared moral bankruptcy today thanks to their ongoing, unethical treatment of employees amid the…
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Lauren Lavín
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April 24, 2020
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Following the order to continue sheltering in place for the next 30 days, local woman Autumn…
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WHITTIER, Calif. — Administrators at the grossly understaffed Whittier Hospital Medical Center have hired former adult film performer Janine Lindemulder…
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Kyle Kelly-Yahner
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April 23, 2020
ST. LOUIS — Local punk Luke Koester downgraded his live-in romantic partner Samatha Tsai from “girlfriend” to “roommate” yesterday following…
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Taylor Roebuck
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April 23, 2020
LANSING, Mich. — Local punk Diana Spalsbury purchased 100 boxes of semi-permanent hair dye yesterday, just for the pair of…
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Tim Nash
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April 22, 2020
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local father Daniel Mercer had no choice but to rewatch the oft-overlooked ’90s sitcom “Becker” yesterday after…
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Amir Adan
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April 22, 2020
BURBANK, Calif. — Disney executives have come under fire for shocking statements made last night by animated television star Doc…
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James Webster
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April 22, 2020
ALBANY, N.Y. — Roommates Jonah Gray and Nic Shore have become fast friends under New York State’s PAUSE order by…
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James Webster
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April 21, 2020
LOS ANGELES — Local metalhead Rob Kurtz was reportedly called out at the grocery store yesterday for converting an old…
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