SAN FRANCISCO — After liking, sharing, and commenting on his posts, it looks like your “new friend” from last week’s virtual open mic Chris Hardny…
VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. — A recent study of your entire friend group came to the unimpeachable conclusion that Daniel Jordan, the biggest fuck up you…
LANGHORNE, Pa. — Local clueless friend Jordan Schmidt overlooked the lifelong trauma of being dumped in the smelly black hole of a Denny’s parking lot…
SEATTLE — New grocery store hire and hardcore punk Dan Lorenz has reluctantly chosen an alternative rock fan as his strongest workplace acquaintance, thanks to…
NEW YORK — Newly separated couple Morgan Gregany and Riley Churchill will continue their relationship on a strictly utilitarian basis as friends with healthcare benefits,…
TUCSON, Ariz. –– Local woman Anaya Marquez is concerned that pursuing a relationship with her friend David Alameda could jeopardize the incredible sex they’ve been…
KING OF PRUSSIA, Pa. — Lonesome guitarist Nelson Owens’s only friendly social relationship is reportedly with popular gear website and mail-order catalog Musician’s Friend, bummed…
OLATHE, Kan. — Liz Barret, your close lifelong friend and one of the only people whose opinion actually matters to you, skimmed through a few…
SHERIDAN, Wyo. — A heartfelt and impassioned announcement from Facebook user Glenn Davies today left dozens scratching their heads wondering how in the fuck they…
GHENT, N.Y. — Beloved family Golden Retriever, Pretzel, was sent to an expansive 80-acre upstate farm earlier this week where she was summarily executed via…
NORWALK, Conn. — Local punk and low-ranking member of his friend group Brandon Smith is reportedly completely unaware of his status in the hierarchical structure…
MARION, Ill. — Local nurse Ginnie Strathmore assured her friend Katie Nguyen this morning that the hacked-up, DIY haircut she gave herself around 2:45 a.m.…
BOSTON — Suspecting that one of your card-playing guests obviously cannot be an Ambassador or the Contessa, game night sources report one of these Coup…
SAN DIEGO — While waiting for members of his Monster Hunter group to gather up early yesterday evening, local gamer Vincent McKay reported yet another…
TOLEDO, Ohio — A local punk church celebrated the addition of a new stained glass window today, commemorating the ultimate sacrifice made by 34-year-old Rosie…