CHICAGO — Polite and respectful punk Jimmy Arano “did the right thing” at a house party last weekend by slightly moving a small pile of…
PHILADELPHIA — The biggest fan of local indie rock band Cash Only is reportedly Kevin Estrada, a close friend who doesn’t have an ounce of…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — 25-year-old Kyle Booth suspects that his new punk friends only like him for his basement, now that he’s befriended a local hardcore…
AUSTIN, Texas — All-around nice guy Ken Ludlow has reportedly found himself in another long-term relationship with a woman despite his wanting to “just be…
PLYMOUTH, Mass. — Local parent Marsha Douglas still isn’t sure exactly what foods family friend and vegan Carolyn Hansen will eat, sources confirmed earlier today.…
HOUSTON — Local crust punk Shiloh Waters is still feverishly searching for a potential sitter for his beloved bedbugs while he is away on tour,…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — An attempt to locate a passport was halted earlier this afternoon when Capricorn/Libra-rising Vickie Bailey-Wilson paused the search to calculate her natal…
ST. LOUIS — Your self-described friend and all-around buzz kill Stevie Fuchas graciously informed you that the young woman who engaged in unprompted flirtation with you…
WEST CHESTER, Pa. — Hardcore scene veteran Brad White reissued his classic “Huge Fight in Philly” story earlier this week, according to witnesses. The exclusive,…
RENO, Nev. — Several founding members of local group chat “Wild Boyz” have started a new thread dedicated entirely to mocking one individual from the…
CHICAGO — Swamp Smut drummer Logan Stone discovered a text message following his set on Thursday night, reading, “What time r u playing?”, sent from…
PORTLAND, Ore. — David Hendershot, the friend who has bragged about his homemade kombucha for the past three months, finally figured out the perfect gift…
Donnie Darko 15th Anniversary DVD Contains Audio Track of Friend Who Won’t Shut Up About Donnie Darko
LOS ANGELES — 20th Century Fox released a limited-edition DVD/Blu-ray combo pack of the time-warping cult-classic Donnie Darko earlier today, which includes a commentary track…