Friend’s House Smells Weird
MEDFORD, Ore. — A sleepover between longtime friends Billy Potter and Sam Cortland turned sour after the former discovered his…
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Mark Turner
73 stories found
Hundreds of Metalcore Bands Scatter When Attendant Shines Flashlight Into Abandoned Industrial Building
LANCASTER, Pa. — Hundreds of metalcore bands were seen scurrying off in different directions in a local factory late yesterday…
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Punk Dad Proudly Watches Son Suck at Baseball
TUCSON, Ariz. — Punk dad Tom Fogelberg watched proudly from the bleachers on Thursday night as his son Jaxon “completely…
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Professional Musician Letting Natural Accounting Talent Go to Waste
TACOMA, Wash. — Professional drummer Jason Hamilton is reportedly letting his natural skill for accounting go to waste, instead playing…
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Punk Starts Listening to AFI Earlier and Earlier Every Year
PLEASANTON, Calif. — Local punk Jesse Watson is breaking out his collection of AFI records earlier and earlier each year,…
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Metallica Merch Booth World’s 32nd Largest Economy
LOS ANGELES — Metallica’s live concert and online merch booth is now the world’s 32nd largest economy by GDP following…
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Overweight Pop-Punk Frontman Wants to Get Out of Hometown Buffet
DULUTH, Minn. — The overweight frontman of Duluth pop-punk favorites the Buttercream Gang admitted earlier today to his growing desire…
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Dangerous New Party Drug Sweeping Parents’ Facebook Pages
AMERICA — Parents nationwide went into a frenzy yesterday when a dangerous new party drug swept across their Facebook pages,…
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Fugazi to Reunite and Criticize Audience in Its Entirety
WASHINGTON — Post-hardcore band Fugazi will end their 15-year hiatus with a series of shows in which they will criticize…
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Star Wars Battlefront 2 Announces Jar Jar Binks as Killable Character
EA Games and DICE have announced that those who pre-order the highly anticipated Star Wars Battlefront 2 will receive the…
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