LOS ANGELES — Dragula, the macabre drag racing car immortalized by musician Rob Zombie, believes today’s generation has become “soft,” exasperated sources confirm. “Sure, call…
MENDHAM TOWNSHIP, N.J. — The notoriously hardworking Chris Christie began preparing for his 2028 presidential election dropout announcement mere hours after revealing he had ended…
DETROIT — Local man Stuart Bask magically began his transformation into an unfunny conservative after he accidentally killed comedian Tim Allen and discovered that he…
STAUNTON, Va. — Local board members at Staunton’s Green Hills of Grace Church are vocally championing J.K. Rowling, despite enforcing a household ban on Harry…
Pro-Trump Courtroom Sketch Artist Keeps Drawing Former President as Jacked Superman While Testifying
Pro-Trump Courtroom Sketch Artist Keeps Drawing Former President as Jacked Superman While Testifying
NEW YORK — Veteran courtroom sketch artist, and self-proclaimed “MAGA diehard,” Terry Bonilla was reprimanded by county officials for continually drawing former President Donald Trump…
HAZLEHURST, Miss. — Indie horror movie “The Scary Place” is leaving primarily Republican audiences in freshly shitted-and pissed-in pants due to its terrifying, uneventful depictions…
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida Governor, and floundering Republican presidential candidate, Ron DeSantis assured residents the powerful winds from Hurricane Idalia are God’s way of ridding…
LAREDO, Texas — Conservative Tanner Oakenson recently committed his life to destroying all forms of fictional child abuse invented by his favorite conservative podcasters and…
Uncle Bill moved to South Carolina a few years ago to get away from Critical Race Theory even though he’s a single man with no…
WASHINGTON — Elected officials across the country promised they would spend the rest of Pride month drafting legislation targeted at making life a living hell…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Local man Eric Case realized he’s technically fasting after being forced to boycott his favorite brands Chick-fil-A and Bud Light for going…
If history has shown us anything, it’s that America best exhibits its core values when done by force. The woke liberal industrial complex trying to…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Self-proclaimed freethinker Terry Schuse added a 75th thin blue line sticker to his prized truck despite constantly ranting about government tyranny, confirmed…
WESTCHASE, Fla. — Self-proclaimed smartypants Ben Shapiro reportedly “flew into a tizzy” and demanded indie folk supergroup boygenius publicly perform in a local Battle of…
Former Smiths singer Steven Patrick Morrissey was one of the leading lights of the 1980s boom of Manchester post-punk rock, sensationalizing critics with his witty,…