CHICAGO — Local barista Jeffrey Stern had a creative breakthrough after thinking of the perfect name for a band that will never exist outside of…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local tattoo enthusiast Ben Drury admitted that the meaning behind a large tattoo of a viking skeleton throwing a fireball currently being…
BOSTON — A study by researchers at MIT has found that nearly every person who has publicly denounced a canceled artist continues to listen to…
We’ve all been there. You’re jamming along to a new track. The beat? Incredible. The lyrics? Insightful. The message? Well, they’re singing about a trampoline…
CHICAGO — Singer-songwriter Kyla Bernhardt learned today just how much her fans have failed to successfully parse the artistic intent behind her songs and many…
CHICAGO — Local punk Kyla Waters has spent the past 24 hours trying to decide if her roommate’s new tattoo either looks nothing like Jack…
Sacramento, Calif. — Northpoint Middle School seventh grader and tattoo wunderkind Connor Butler is quickly expanding his portfolio from a transparent cube to the decidedly…
LOS ANGELES — Local tattoo artist “Big” Frank Kowlaski admitted today that he was profoundly impacted by a tattoo he inked last week of a…
LOS ANGELES — Popular podcast host Joe Rogan is set to become the first-ever artist played on the Spotify platform to be properly compensated, thanks…
CINCINNATI — Chronically unemployed local woman and semi-professional singer-songwriter Jody Salazar has no idea how to pay taxes on all the exposure she earned last…
ATLANTA — Concerned citizens in Atlanta’s eccentric Inman Park neighborhood have banded together with city officials to ensure that any graffiti in their area is…
CHICAGO — Local artist Joe Burns is reportedly refusing to take any form of antidepressants for his crippling mental illness, fearing it may inhibit his…
MILWAUKEE — Scorned martial artist Ryan Bradford attended a hardcore show at the Cat Box last night, seeking retribution against the crowdkiller who murdered his…
LEXINGTON, Ky. — Local tattoo artist Jory Belden has created a book of preconceived conversation topics for clients refer to and choose from during their…
Internet Can’t Fucking Wait to Push Newly Famous Artist to Psychological Ruin
SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous musician Hank Todd past the…