Trump Calls for Boycotting Every Springsteen Song Except the One That Goes “Hey Little Girl Is Your Daddy Home?”
WASHINGTON — President Trump urged his MAGA base to boycott Bruce Springsteen's entire music catalog except for “I’m on Fire” in a Truth Social post early this morning. “Bruce Springsteen, who looks like a DRIED UP PRUNE, has only …
Modern Day Robin Hood? Kalshi Is Giving War Profiteering Back to the Little Guy
Finally! Some justice for the working class! I’ll admit, I had my doubts about sports betting site Kalshi after I lost $3000 in my Hawk-Tuah-Coin-Pump-And-Dump-Scandal-Same-Day-As-Jeff-Probst-Rapping-About-The-Applebees-Bourbon-Burger-On-Survivor-48… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Get the full story</a>
So-Called Eric Clapton Fan Safely Protected Against Measles and Rubella
Aging Millennial’s Finger Mustache Tattoo Goes Gray
SEATTLE — A 35-year-old millennial with the once ubiquitous finger mustache tattoo noticed that her ink stache is graying right along with her head hair,… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue reading this gem</a>
Oh, Like Your Husband Never Engaged in a Bimbofication Fetish While You Had an Affair on a Taxpayer-Funded Luxury Jet – Guest Post by Kristi Noem
Well, don’t we just love to pile on. Is it lonely up there on your pedestals, everybody? Oh, whoopsie, I forgot, I’m a public figure,… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue this tale</a>
Tesla Hides Drive Mode Behind Subscription Paywall
We Sat Down With Cybergoth Icon The Predator
The cybergoth subculture arose in the nineties as a combination of cyberpunk and goth styles, with adherents often seen sporting some combination of a basic,… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Read more nonsense</a>
Music
So-Called Eric Clapton Fan Safely Protected Against Measles and Rubella
BRISTOL, Conn. — Rodney Carlson, supposed fan of English rock and blues guitarist-turned-anti-vaxxer Eric Clapton, showed himself to be fully inoculated against numerous diseases including measles and rubella, disgusted sources report. “I’ve been a huge fan of Eric Clapton since…
Absolutely Tragic: Chris Jericho Announces Plans To Continue Releasing Music
ODESSA, Fla. — Popular wrestler turned musician Chris Jericho unfortunately announced plans to continue his…
Local Man Owns Inappropriate Number of Guitars for Skill Level
PHOENIX — Local resident Peter Unger has an impressive collection of more than two dozen…
Disappointed Concertgoer Learns Band Only Performs Live Version of Their Songs
BALTIMORE — First-time concertgoer Keith Sulzbach was disappointed to learn that a band he recently…
Impending Civil War Delayed by 2026 Weird Al Tour
WASHINGTON — The imminent Civil War between the nation’s two political parties is reportedly delayed…
Featured Posts
The Next Alex Jones? This Parrot Learned To Say “Deep State”
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately,…
“Our Story” Section of Wedding Website Doubles as Historical Fiction
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Avid readers of TheKnot.com report that a couple’s “Our Story” section on their personal wedding website, where…
Democrats Placated By Decision to Rename Alligator Alcatraz the “Ruth Bader Ginsburg Memorial Detention Facility”
WASHINGTON — Congressional Democrats achieved “yet another satisfying moral victory” against the GOP by convincing their Republican counterparts to rename…
Opinion: I Have a Substack Because I’m an Expert, and I’m an Expert Because I Have a Substack
If you’re looking for true expertise, then look no further than Substack. I know this because I have my own…