SACRAMENTO — After a fan objected to his anti-Trump musings onstage, Social Distortion frontman Mike Ness reportedly jumped into the crowd and assaulted him for…
CHICAGO — Unhinged rock legend Paul McCartney is continuing to lead concert goers in what is now the ninth consecutive hour of the “na-na” part…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Your leadership skills will be of use this week, Aries. Tell your frontman that you guys are playing the song you…
There’s nothing quite like being a parent. You create life from the roots of your body and soul, and then have the great privilege of…
CHICAGO — Punk band Doormat’s frontman promised last night that the band would “for sure” play their bassist’s song, “The Mason-Dixon Lie,” at their next…
GILMAN HOT SPRINGS, Calif. — Every single member of the Church of Scientology were found last week to be undercover documentary filmmakers who only joined…
WAYNE, N.J. — World-renowned MILF Stacy’s mom, made famous by rock band Fountains of Wayne, died suddenly last night due to a heart attack at…
MILWAUKEE — Iconic motorcycle manufacturer Harley-Davidson held a press conference this morning, announcing plans to build fixed gear motorcycles to gain favor with a new,…
We live in a progressive time. The days of mediocre white men dominating the media are coming to an end. As a straight white male…
ERIE, Pa. — Punk sales associate Courtney Cruz is refusing to start her six-hour shift at Target until the store “actually fills up a little…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Warped Tour founder Kevin Lyman is already eyeing Riot Fest 2020 for a possible reunion of his famed festival, nearly one year…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Ramon Dixon told himself this morning that the insect he caught crawling across his bed, and that is “definitely responsible”…
No matter how many gallons of twenty-somethings’ blood we inject, everybody still gets old and shitty. That goes double for so-called “classic songs.” Just because…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Ramon Dixon has officially decided he’ll “give it a few days” before telling his roommates about the weird bites found…
ABINGTON, Mass. — The 14 punks that make up the entire DIY music scene of their suburban town are reportedly relieved to soon be done…