SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A study completed last week at the University of California-Davis found that the next song “…goes a little something like this,” researchers…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a freelance reporter into infiltrating a…
If there is one thing that journalists (and marijuana-sex content creators) need to shout right now, it is that we need to be paid for…
Hate comes from ignorance. It’s a manifestation of fear of the unknown. As an ivy league educated, well-traveled individual, I have experienced people of many…
LAS CRUCES, N.M. — Local band Leatherfist had to look up their own Wikipedia entry this week to confirm who was actually a current member…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local dad Carl Coleman threw caution to the wind last night and mimicked an electric guitar solo with his pool cue during…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Geoff Kaplan was overly critical and harsh this afternoon while discussing astrology stereotypes with friends, sources close to the obvious…
NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind date, a “white guy in…
Who the fuck does this band ‘Propagandhi’ think they are? I just listened to their latest piece of anti-American garbage, Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes, and…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Members of the Spokane DIY punk scene are reluctantly preparing to help local women who will lose access to vital healthcare services,…
Dear Scabby: I currently have crushes on two coworkers. What should I do? -PROFESSIONALLY TORN IN PITTSBURGH Dear Professionally Torn in Pittsburgh: First off, I’d…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary horror rocker and Misfits frontman Glenn Danzig is already mentally spending the annual bump in royalties he expects to receive from…
Greeting new (I hope) friend! Might I trouble you for just a moment of your time? My office is just around the corner here, come…
PHOENIX — An “A.C.A.B.” knuckle tattoo reminded recovering amnesiac Marcus Spence last night exactly how he feels about law enforcement officials, following an encounter with…
Jonathan, I want you to know that I love your mother very much. And although I tried to eat your real father during the most…