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I Made a Bong out of My Dick 8 Months Ago and Vice Still Hasn’t Paid Me for It

If there is one thing that journalists (and marijuana-sex content creators) need to shout right now, it is that we need to be paid for the work we put in. The state of online media is at an all time low for freelancers like myself. Case in point- Vice hired me to make a bong out of my dick 8 months ago and they still haven’t paid me for it!.

What people don’t understand is that there is a lot of work that goes on behind that scenes that have to happen for the article you’re reading to exist. Whether it’s tracking down inside government sources, traveling around the world to get a firsthand scoop on a breaking story, or, in many cases, drilling a permanent hole into your erect penis so you can smoke dank kush right out of your urethra, online content requires real work.

These big media companies don’t care. They know they are going to get their articles because us lowly journalists (and penis-bong columnists) have to keep working with them or else we will starve. We have to deal with publishers who keep saying, “Oh yeah we’ll pay you eventually” because we have rent to pay and a limited amount of sexual body parts that marijuana can be smoked out of.

And yes, I have to bring up President Trump here, who constantly threatens to take away the affordable healthcare that was promised to us under Obama. These are troubling times. With the rise of the gig economy, there are countless freelancers who rely on that healthcare in case because everyone needs unavoidable medical care from time to time. Everyone has to deal with going to the doctor for things like routine check-ups or the fact that your penis is so infected from the hole that was drilled into it and subsequently smoked out out of that it has to be amputated!

This is why we need to band together, change the way this cruel system works, and demand that Vice pay me the $25 I am owed for my article.