VISTA, Calif. — The discovery of a 19th use for Dr. Bronner’s All-One hemp castile soap has members of the company going absolutely mad with…
Like me, you’ve probably been told that millennials are too busy vaping, eating ass, and razing entire industries to the ground and salting the earth…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local uninsured and ailing man Jordan Cohen announced today that he will “just give it a few more days” before seeking any…
While Todd Erickson may seem like a mild mannered middle-aged man at first glance, this is simply a cover up to hide the fact that…
BRIDGEWATER, Mass. — Your coolest cousin and basically “big brother” from ages 4-13, Donnie McGee, was finally released from prison earlier today, not-so-excited sources confirmed.…
WEST SENECA, N.Y. — Legendary crust punk Selma “Pusbubble” Gormin shocked her friends and fellow squatters this morning, announcing that she was “sick of this…
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — A chaotic brawl broke out at this weekend’s River Rage Rampage music festival, when fans of popular jam band Phish clashed with…
Pere Noel. Kris Kringle. The Winter Easter Bunny. For centuries, children have lined up to meet Santa Claus and ask him to fulfill their every…
BARRE, Vt. — The small, tight-knit Barre hardcore community announced last week the arrival of the first openly gay member of their underground music scene,…
Nearly 40 years after its release, Joy Division’s most iconic album truly stands the test of time. I’m referring, of course, to the band’s truly…
AURORA, Ill. — The frontman of Jewish punk band The Oi! Veys got a tattoo last week of an upside-down Star of David to express…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Members of the Tempe punk music scene attempted an ill-advised DIY blood drive last night, accidentally killing four beloved scene veterans, shocked…
For the last 3 months of his life I was the primary caretaker to George H.W. Bush.I do not claim to have really known him.…
Hey gang!! We all love 90s throwback nostalgia shit and you know who we haven’t thought of in a while- the mother fucking Spin Doctors,…
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Detroit hardcore band Strength of Olympus implemented a new space and cost-saving measure during their most recent tour, printing just one…