BOSTON — A research team of manly scientists believe they may have discovered a third emotion, in addition to anger and stoicism, that real men…
Local eighth-grader Warren Glumm never anticipated his hand-stenciled Metallica shirt to bring him any attention, let alone result in the band visiting his middle school…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Fancy punk Gerald Harden is flaunting his wealth by hanging relatively expensive, unwashed, 400-thread count bed sheets in his bedroom windows as…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Edison High School was set ablaze with speculation last week that it’s gym teacher, Douglas Vesely, might actually be legendary hardcore frontman…
DANVERS, Mass. — Local siblings Lisa and Danielle Burke will get to experience their first year with two different Halloween celebrations following the divorce of…
If You Don’t Do Something About the Annual Murders, I Can No Longer Send My Kids to Your Summer Camp
If You Don’t Do Something About the Annual Murders, I Can No Longer Send My Kids to Your Summer Camp
I wish to bring a troubling issue to the attention of the management at Camp Crystal Lake. I have been sending my children to your…
BOSTON — Pop-punk quartet The Color Silver announced a new side project project last week: a pop-punk trio entitled The Colour Silver, featuring the drummer,…
SAYREVILLE, N.J. — Local guitarist Micah Verney ducked out of a job interview earlier today to record an idea for an amateurish riff using the…
GARY, Ind. — Local librarian Kate Frazier announced earlier today that a paper skeleton will headline the Halloween decorations on the bulletin board next to…
Black Metal is most closely associated with its geographical roots in Scandinavia. There has been, however, a growing contingent of the scene in the United…
DENVER — Local harsh noise artist Jeremy Phillips halted progress on his upcoming EP today when he couldn’t determine which of his songs were finished,…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Harvest Jam music festival attendees are still helping a fellow fan crowd-surf, blissfully unaware they’ve been hoisting a cadaver over their heads…
ROME — Debuting gladiator Felix Augustus had to borrow weapons yesterday from a more established warrior ahead of his opening bout at the Coliseum, frustrated…
Well, this is just a fucking mess. Last night I went on what my ex refers to as one of my “dangerous binge drinking sessions”…
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Local punk band The Cancelled realized they made an awful mistake last night within seconds of starting to cover the Dead…