NEW YORK — Popular photoblog “Humans of New York” announced in an emotional press conference today that they have finally found a subject too depressing…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local ex-boyfriend Clyde Satler caught his luckiest break since his separation from his former girlfriend yesterday, realizing that the death of her…
Being sick is the worst. I’d been puking all night, and not in the fun way like on a security guard after a show. If…
ST. LOUIS — Folk-punk musician and all-around vagabond Ross Smithton asked you yesterday to pick him up from the Alton & Southern Railway Company railyard…
BEIJING — Chinese punks were astonished today after their government officially repealed the long-standing policy of penalizing citizens who play in more than one band,…
SYLMAR, Calif. — Local tax consultant Brian Weldon signed up for a beginner-level mixed martial arts class last week to defend himself during fights he…
BOSTON — Longtime fans of local hardcore band Turkey Neck report 30-year-old frontman Ryan Walsh is leaving his shirt on deeper into their sets than…
NORTHAMPTON, Mass. — Aspiring influencer Joey Partouzi abandoned a much-hyped DIY project in record time yesterday after facing a small setback during the planning stage,…
VISTA, Calif. — Divorced parents Margaret Clark and Pete Doyle put aside years of mutual acrimony last night, reconnecting over their hated of daughter Kelsey’s…
When Elon Musk asked me to point a gun at his new Cybertruck I thought he just wanted to demonstrate that the glass was bulletproof.…
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence was “disoriented” and “inconsolable” last night leaving a concert by metal band Lamb of God shortly after it began,…
PORTLAND, Maine — Attendees, staff, and band at a Drunk Witch show last night simultaneously all concluded that they’re just “too old for this loud…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — Beta cuck Seth Armitage watched helplessly from the side of his wife Nadia’s hospital bed last Thursday as cancer totally fucked…
Hey, thanks for picking me up — Wait, did you just restart that song so it was playing when I got in the car? Oh,…
DETROIT — Controversial singer/songwriter Morrissey is now selling signed copies of albums by the notorious white power band Skrewdiver for $300 at concerts, attendees at…