POMONA, Calif. — Aging punk Kelvin Obera hired a no-nonsense private investigator last week, trying to determine the exact time the headlining band would take…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Former Vice President Joe Biden requested moments ago to perform a “physical challenge” in lieu of answering a foreign policy question,…
SAN FRANCISCO — ConAgra Foods announced today a plan to reissue the legendary 1997 Hickey/Voodoo Glow Skulls split 7” as a product tie-in for their…
Once in a while, a brilliant actor comes along that redefines the practice in ways that the ancient Greeks could never have imagined. Gary Busey…
ST. LOUIS — Time stood still today for local man Hayden Reed, who publicly identified as a “Democratic Socialist” and prayed his words would be…
It’s just so crazy to me that everyone keeps asking for another swing revival. There’s just something in the ether I guess. It’s weird because…
PALMETTO BAY, Fla. — An already shirtless Iggy Pop tightly crossed his fingers and paced anxiously during the team selection process of a neighborhood pickup…
NEWARK, N.J. — Senator Cory Booker announced he will be suspending his bid for the 2020 presidency which unleashed an avalanche of calls from former…
BOSTON — Researchers at Berklee College of Music confirmed today that the opening riff of local punk band Milkmouth’s song “Squirrel Scream” should really have…
Toxic fandom is terrible. It’s sad to see wonderful works of art that bring so many people joy overrun with fans who spoil it for…
IRVING, Texas — Senior ExxonMobil executive Robert Stone announced today that his company will donate millions of dollars toward rebuilding gas stations across southeast Australia…
Listen up, we all know the rules of being straight edge. No tobacco, no drugs, and no alcohol… through your mouth. But I’ve recently come…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Recording artist Mitski announced today that her merchandise will now be available for sale at mental health clinics across the country, klonopin…
HAMILTON, Ontario — Neil Peart’s elaborate drum kit is set to be divided up and donated to schools across Canada in order to provide every…
Most people won’t share this but last night between the hours of 11 p.m. to 3 a.m. one teacher went above and beyond to inspire…