PORT CHARLOTTE, Fla. — Local housecat Poobies was the only resident of 62 South Woodside Drive that contributed to cleaning up a pile of vomit…
EL PASO, Texas — Convicted pedophile Marcus Fleming killed two birds with one stone earlier today when he canvassed for Michael Bloomberg during court-mandated neighborhood…
Sorry to burst your fragile little bubbles but there are only two genders. You’re either a man or a woman. No non-binary, gender-fluid nonsense. Cased…
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence announced plans today to protect American citizens from the coronavirus by sending all infected to a faith-based conversion therapy…
The Trump train keeps barreling towards 2020! Along with record job creation and the highest poll ratings in Presidential history we continue to get support…
NEW YORK — A recent report from Overpower-Overcome Enterprises found that last year’s inordinate number of backstabbings ground the hardcore scene’s street justice system to…
COMMERCE CITY, Co. — A bag of drugs successfully made it through a concert security line early yesterday afternoon without the Phish fan in which…
“Oh shit,” you say to yourself. “It can’t be.” You’ve just checked out your favorite band’s new music video, and yup, that’s a keytar. The…
DENVER — Local pornography enthusiast Brett Wallace was caught off guard moments ago by an advertisement for Democratic presidential candidate Mike Bloomberg while watching a…
I’m not like other moms, you know. Sure, I pick up my kids from soccer practice on Thursday afternoons, and every night I cook for…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Local crust punk Elliot Schreiber had the dick tattoo on his face completely blacked out by pranksters early this morning after…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Mayor Pete Buttigieg held a press conference today to announce the end of his presidential campaign after realizing he was not…
CARSON, Calif. — Tampa Bay Vipers stand-out kicker Andrew Franks outraged fans and pundits last week after refusing to stand for Stone Cold Steve Austin’s…
BOULDER, Colo. — Straight edge kid Patrick Cohen attempted to make his cat Bucket alert and calm Tuesday afternoon by blowing fresh mountain air into…
2020 marks the start of a golden age of acceptance and social progression. But along with progress, we must also seek reflection. We need to…