CHICAGO — Freelance marketing writer Jim Podaski reportedly channeled his inner “Mad Men” protagonist Don Draper today for his latest blog post for Cheap Used…
CINCINNATI — Chronically unemployed local woman and semi-professional singer-songwriter Jody Salazar has no idea how to pay taxes on all the exposure she earned last…
I want my budding love life to be as exciting and effortless as my tuning of choice, open D. I’m thirsty for endless D, musically…
CHICAGO — Local goth Raven Stevens spent her entire savings on new clothes yesterday after an attempt to eat a powdered donut backfired catastrophically, a…
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Last week, a local polycule reached its breaking point and spoke out on social media against the growing stereotype that polyamorous people…
MONTREAL — PornHub I.T. guy Dewey Palmer helped a fellow employee troubleshoot their malfunctioning computer this morning by suggesting they “jack the computer off, then…
I know, you probably hear this all the time. Hell, everyone wants to believe that they’re some special soul that broke the mold. But I…
LOS ANGELES — Indie musician RGRT could not solve a single “Wheel of Fortune” puzzle during last week’s taping because he did not buy a…
ORLANDO — Disney World announced Friday that they’ve been working closely with the creators and producers of “Westworld” to make the Magic Kingdom’s Hall of…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Religious supporters of President Trump were confused and apprehensive yesterday when he invited an executive from popular sex toy company Adam &…
Not long ago I was an immature fool who claimed personal responsibility for every little thing that went wrong in my life. Something no one…
MISHAWAKA, Ind. — Local punk musician Dana Laurence gave the “birds and the bees” talk to his seven-year-old son last night, reportedly including overly detailed…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local logophile Kyle Nazareth, the biggest fan of lyrically-advanced band Western Addiction, allegedly moshed with a large Merriam-Webster Dictionary/Thesaurus in hand at…
SANTA FE, N.M.— Bantam Books editor Krista Lowell is reportedly very excited to receive at least one new page of George R.R. Martin’s highly anticipated…
Hello there Hard Times readers! My grandchild, The Hard Times, is feeling under the weather today so they couldn’t write anything. But don’t worry! The…