Television legend Mr. Rogers once said, “Look for the helpers.” In these times, we need these helpers more than ever. The helpers I look to…
SEATTLE — Amy’s Regret, the last known grunge band on the planet, were successfully captured in the wild last week and will be rehabilitated and…
Coward Hour is the least-informed podcast in America. Each week, leading cowards/disgraced comedians Brendan Krick & Nik Oldershaw spiral on mic, commit gaffes, and descend…
NEW YORK — Huge, anthropomorphic canary and “Sesame Street” cast member Big Bird was arrested late last night for loitering outside of the Love Puppet,…
PEMBROKE, Mass. — Local Dad and Lowe’s sales associate Brian Weckbacher was “giddy as a schoolboy” yesterday after conversing with police officer Ben Henry inside…
Arguably one of the most famous actors of the 20th century, Bugs Bunny developed a new sense of comedy, sarcasm, and stunt work in motion…
DUBLIN, Ireland — My Bloody Valentine guitarist Kevin Shields manually installed a number of superfluous foot pedals to his one-speed bicycle today after a handful…
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s approval rating has failed to crack the 40% mark among the last remaining American who managed to survive the pandemic and…
MILWAUKEE — Activist metalhead Ricky Miranda vowed today to fight tirelessly for racial justice, as well as the right to carry gigantic broadswords onto commercial…
LOS ANGELES — Local tattoo artist “Big” Frank Kowlaski admitted today that he was profoundly impacted by a tattoo he inked last week of a…
Life sure is a trip. One minute you’re trying to drive and eat a comically oversized pretzel at the same time and the next minute…
RACINE, Wis. — Goth enthusiast and mother of four Obsidia Darque Jackson added a charming new “Die, Cry, Hate” sign to her family’s rumpus room…
CHICAGO — Local ex-boyfriend Dan Bakersfield hit up his ex-girlfriend last night to yell at her “like the good old days” after reaching the end…
LOS ANGELES — Unpopular streaming platform Quibi was visited yesterday by the ghost of NBC’s now-defunct streaming platform SeeSo, warning the young app of it’s…
AMHERST, Mass. — Smorth College announced today that instead of face-to-face instruction, it will release its fall semester classes on vinyl, citing pandemic concerns. “This…