Irving Schumacher has seen a lot in his day. Born in 1899, the 118-year-old is America’s oldest man, but you’d never know it just by…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Musicians of all genres met last night at the Cava Java Cafe to save a beloved mixed-media open mic from being taken…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Former crust punk Howie Benson searched in vain earlier today for a way to hide his old, shitty tattoos before a mandatory…
If you want the truth, you need to go out there and find it. You need claw your way to the very top. You follow…
WASHINGTON — Republicans are drafting a new Obamacare replacement bill that includes a clause removing children from their parents’ Netflix account after the age of…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Heavily pierced punk Kevin Avery has trapped a local woman in an unending, one-sided conversation, revealing a horrifying slew of opinions, according…
We have a problem in this country, an unfair immigration system that forces immigrants to risk their lives sneaking across the border, work jobs that…
DURHAM, N.C. — High school teacher Eddie Dunn was named “coolest teacher in school” in the Mount Hills Senior High yearbook superlatives last year for…
Say hello to Xavier Morris. Just your average 20-something bearded hipster, Right? Dead wrong. You see, there’s something about Xavier that sets him apart from…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pet owner Dylan Murphy could not find a suitable adoptive home for his beloved pet cockatoo last week, despite incessantly screaming “FREE…
So this is this water park you all wouldn’t shut up about, huh? This is not as amazing as you kids made it out to…
TUCSON, Ariz. –– Members of local pop-punk band Trashlings were advised by their GPS to avoid another disastrous tour altogether after nine hours of loading…
The figurative dust has not yet settled on Charlottesville, Virginia, where Heather Heyer, a counter-protester to an evil white supremacist march, was tragically murdered by…
PITTSBURGH — After blasting through the first 27 songs of their set last night, local grindcore vocalist Alex Brown asked if his band had time…
SAN FRANCISCO — Born-again metalhead Pete Ericson will only listen to Testament albums released before 1992, claiming those records are “the sacred works of metal…