Congrats to the Southport High School graduating class of 2005! Remember how you all wrote “Never change!” in the yearbook of class punk, Jimmy “Upper…
CHICAGO — Perpetually lonely heterosexual man Cliff Parker is living under the mistaken assumption that he would be getting a lot more action if he…
The kettlebell is having a real moment right now, and for once you can believe the hype! A kettlebell’s unique shape makes it a far…
DES MOINES, Iowa — Liz Connelly, a second-year Applebee’s employee, refused to show three members of nü-metal octet Slipknot to their table until the other…
COMMON BEAGLE SMALL INTESTINE — Health authorities called upon legendary white blood cell police officer Osmosis Jones to come out of retirement and help as…
AUSTIN, Texas — Local horny-as-hell woman Wendy Charleton fears what might happen if she were to get drunk alone with close friend Collin Montrose due…
Yes, before you ask, these are bed bug bites all over my body, and no, I do not need the number of a great exterminator…
WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Canadian classic rock band Bachman-Turner Overdrive announced around the crack of noon that they will not be taking care of any business…
The September 11th attacks changed everything – including many films and TV shows from the early 2000s. Here are 15 that were altered as a…
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we tackle the 1995 breakthrough studio album ‘Live…
IDAHO FALLS, Idaho — Local man and recent entrepreneur Shawn Roberts revealed a pillow he invented while stoned off his ass early yesterday morning which…
CHICAGO — Local boyfriend who’s changed, he swears, Britt Keller promised on again-off again girlfriend Carolyn Mueller that he will do as little as humanly…
Every music fan remembers the day iconic folk artist Bob Dylan switched over to electric guitar. When Dylan struck that first chord for “Like a…
UKIAH, Calif. — Local showgoer Ernie Morales lamented the fact he is almost certainly contracting the coronavirus delta variant while attending an avant-garde noise show…
AUSTIN, Texas — Texas lawmakers continued their draconian war on reproductive freedom by passing a new law that would immediately sentence any woman accused of…