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5 Kettlebell Exercises That Are Nowhere Near as Fun as Just Swinging Them Around All Crazy

The kettlebell is having a real moment right now, and for once you can believe the hype! A kettlebell’s unique shape makes it a far more versatile tool than dumbbells, and the thick handles incorporate bonus grip training into almost every exercise you do. Unfortunately, these benefits come at a cost.

For all of its strengths, the kettlebell suffers a crucial design flaw: It is WAY too fun to just swing around all crazy-like and probably hurt yourself and others!

Here are 5 kettlebell exercises that could theoretically take your workout routine to the next level, but won’t because you’re just gonna be all like “Look at me I’m a wrecking ball, weeeee!”

Adding weight to the traditional squat can yield big returns, and the kettlebell’s shape allows you to hold the weight center, making it easier to balance.

Of course, the real advantage is that you’re not holding the kettlebell by the handle, so you’re more likely to get some reps in before caving to temptation. After 4 weeks of training, I can now do 16 reps before yelling “Tornado!” and spinning that thing around the weight room Taz-style.

Suitcase Lunges
This exercise adds weight to the traditional lunge by making you hold a kettlebell in each hand. The only problem is, you have a friggin’ kettlebell in each hand! You know you’re not getting jack done before you’re swinging those babies around the room shouting “I’m a helicopter!” The terrified look on everyone’s dumb gym-rat face is just too priceless.

Bent-over Rows
Let’s work those back muscles! Assume a bent-over leaning position, let the weight hang from your forward arm and breathe out as you lift the weight to your midsection, being mindful of your core. Now, realize how stupid boring that is, and go wreck some havoc spinning those bells around all crazy!

The Turkish Get-up
This is a multi-step full body routine that many athletic trainers consider to be essential for peak performance. Unfortunately, each rep ends with you holding a dang kettlebell over your head, so it’s way too easy to start swinging it around, walk towards people and tell them that if they get hit it’s their fault.

The Kettlebell Swing
Are you kidding me? I mean, are you actually fucking kidding me? They want you to do an exercise with a kettlebell that INCORPORATES swinging the damned thing, and they expect you to have the self-control to not get way, WAY out of hand?! Good luck with that! Sorry Planet Fitness, but the lunk alarm is about to become the least of your worries.