You’re starting to feel adrift. What do you want to do with your life? Should you start a podcast? It seems like everyone in your…
SAN DIEGO, Calif. — Self-proclaimed alpha male, Jared Andrews, suffered a nervous breakdown last week when attempting to eat a banana without looking “gay,” authorities…
Well, I finally did it. After 6 months of doing high-intensity interval training in 100-degree heat and only eating egg whites and the stems of…
“Physically strong, morally straight. Positive youth, the Youth of Today!” are words no one would ever use to describe us here at The Hard Times.…
PORTLAND, Maine — Support for local man Kevin Davidson is reportedly waning amongst friends as they slowly realize his recovery bolstered his social status and…
Remember a while back when Martin Scorsese thought that directing a handful of the most highly regarded films of all time entitled him to voice…
KENOSHA, Wis. — The long-hunted serial murderer known only as The Kenosha Cannibal was pleasantly surprised he could still slip into the first suit he’d…
If you grew up in the early ‘90s, you grew up ingesting a lot of toxic media, and sure, we recognize a lot of that…
HOPKINGTON, Mass. — Local creep Brad Hinton announced his plans to run a full marathon, moments after seeing a woman with visible tattoos 26.2 miles…
The kettlebell is having a real moment right now, and for once you can believe the hype! A kettlebell’s unique shape makes it a far…
Early into the pandemic, I made the decision to take advantage of my newfound downtime and forge my body in the fire of my will.…
PARMA, Ohio — Local punk Matt Onofrio looks substantially worse after getting in better physical shape over the last several months, defying all laws of…
One of the most sacred rituals a person can perform for themselves is the practice of yoga. A yogi is at one with their mind,…
You wouldn’t be able to tell now because of my thick pecs but I used to look like a real dork. That’s because I was…
The Next Health Guru? This Man Turns Into a Diet and Fitness Expert Every Time He Sees an Article About Lizzo on Facebook
Throw away those workout DVDs, cancel your Weight Watchers membership, and unfollow your favorite fitness influencer on TikTok because there’s a hot new health expert…